With all of the books that have come out in recent years on how to rear children, many parents feel inadequate and insecure. They feel that unless they have read all of the experts in the field they just can't hope to measure up to the task at hand. This is not the truth! Studies show that the parents are their children's first and most important teacher.
Watch your infant. Even before you think they are capable of much of anything except sleeping, eating, messing up your schedule, and needing a diaper change; they are learning from you, reading you if you will. The gentleness of your touch even in the middle of the night lets a child know they are cherished and valued. They know instinctively that this big person cares for their needs when they cry, but does it come with tenderness or is this person gruff and irritable. They respond in kind to the soft, quiet voice and manner of the parent; or with fear to the brusque handling they receive if the converse is true.
Consistent behaviors tend to make a child feel secure and sure of which way their world is turning, soon they learn that their actions and reactions to the human race also affect their little world and this makes them feel powerful; in control. Ask any young parent of a newborn and they will tell you "she rules our home now." Children need to know, however, that they can depend on the adult to take that role back whenever the child feels out of control. So it is a fine balance between control and being controlled.
Infants who have assurance that they are valued and controlled are ready to learn other things in their new ever changing sphere. They can refuse to eat or nurse when they are not hungry; they can smile, laugh out loud, cry or squeal to get attention. What parent's heart does not melt the moment their infant gives them that big toothless grin or that first slobbery kiss on the cheek.
Children know intuitively that they are now in control of their parent's heart. From this point on all learning is based on giving and taking. Still the parent is doing most of the giving, get used to it! These little people are learning just how many smiles, coos, giggles, or kisses it takes to get the parent to give into whatever their little needs require.
Quickly they learn to hold toys or hold their bottle, to be somewhat helpful. Who taught them that skill, it does not just happen; they learned it from you. They learn to roll over, creep along the floor to get to a desired object. Infants study how it is that you sit, stand, throw, etc. as they are ready for this stage of development; and where did they learn it, from their parent, of course. At each level of change, the parent is the one that the child has the most opportunity to observe, so the child practices what they see.
By the time they reach their first day care or kindergarten class they have been taught many useful things from their parents. They have gained a wealth of knowledge, and become skilled at all of the life skills they need to move into this next stage of their expansion.
Teachers only dare to draw closer to a group of children after the parent has helped them move along to a more independent stage of life. Your job is not complete, as a parent does not give the reins completely over to the rest of the world until the child is 18 years of age. Studies show that even in the teen years, the parent is still the most influential person in their offspring's life. So be encouraged, do your best to show your child how important they are in your life, you will surely reap the rewards of all your hard work.
